i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he fucked my hip out of place.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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