We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
