he wants to bone in the snuggie
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
