If i come over, it means nothing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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