So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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