He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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