Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
