I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
