but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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