I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
