Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What a dumb baby whore.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
