Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
