I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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