I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
