someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
