May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
