I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
