you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
that may or may not have been my penis.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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