someone get that fucking seahorse.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
