He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
