"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
