Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
