No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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