the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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