Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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