I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
