I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he thought i was a dude.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Houston, we have a squirter
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
