I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
