bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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