just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
