I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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