just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
