no, he came in my armpit
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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