I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
