super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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