I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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