Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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