i would punch a child for taco bell
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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