It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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