its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
