I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
