I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
