chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
