Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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