I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
