Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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