dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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