Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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