dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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