Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
