STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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