I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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