paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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