Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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