Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize