i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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