You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
