Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
