do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
