He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
