Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
