do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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